youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
