spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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