Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
