I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
