right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
