i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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