I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
