HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
