I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just pee around me
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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