Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Randomize
