you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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