We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Randomize
