It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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