I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I think i got beer on your cat.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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