U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
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