Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
