I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Semen is not good for contacts.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
