Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
