youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
