i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I wear drunk well.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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