I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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