google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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