Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
