3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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