so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
