i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
