Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
