Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Randomize
