do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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