You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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