I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
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