I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
