No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
