Pappa wants mamma naked
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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