I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
