I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
