Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
