What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
