When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
