I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
