Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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