my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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