I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
