i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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