K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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