I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
