I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I want a musical about memes.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
