i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
