I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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