we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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