it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
