I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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